So there you are, sitting together on the humongous bed in the honeymoon suite on the night of your wedding, opening gifts. You tear through the money envelopes lickity split, but the boxed gifts take some time to unwrap.
Inevitably, you open something and look at each other thinking, ?What in God?s name is this and why would they give it to us for our wedding?? If that?s happened to you, I?m happy to say you are in good company. That royal couple from across the pond, Will and Kate, feels your pain.
They urged everyone on the planet to just watch the wedding on TV and not give them any gifts, making it clear if someone did buy Kate a Snuggy they would donate it to charity. Turns out, people don?t listen.
World leaders like to score points with other world leaders, so the gifts came anyway, and some of them are downright bizarre. Don?t believe me? Canada?s health minister gave the royal couple his-and-her mosquito traps. Oh, and when they were in California, the sheriff of Santa Barbara gave them a set of four very simple-looking drink coasters, which is actually a great gift since all the furniture in Buckingham Palace is centuries old and the last thing you need on Henry VIII?s coffee table is a water ring from the Queen?s can of Coors Light.
I poked around online and found the official list of every single gift Will and Kate received, and I can say with full confidence they don?t need a single one of them.
The most common gift seemed to be books. I think if they read one book a week they wouldn?t be finished for a decade.
Hats were also a hot item, baseball and cowboy being the most popular. If the couple ever buys a dude ranch or if Will tries out for the New York Yankees, they?ll be all set.
Kate scored well in the shoe department. No specifics on what kind of shoes, but I?m guessing they weren?t purchased at Payless.
On a royal swing through New Zealand and Australia, someone gave them a jar of vegemite. The only time I?d ever heard of this stuff was in that 1981 song ?Down Under? from the band Men At Work. Do you remember that song? In it, the singer talks about meeting a man and asks, ?Do you speak-a-my language? He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.? I was curious, so I Googled the stuff. Vegemite is a yeast extract that people spread on bread like we?d use jelly. They say it?s an acquired taste.
An animal horn, olive oil, saddle bag, salad tongs, a ceremonial dagger ? someone even gave them a lute. What?s that? A stringed instrument that kind of looks like a mandolin. Perhaps Will can serenade Kate by singing about the land down under where women glow and men plunder. Continued...
My point is, even the royal couple gets odd wedding gifts. I talked to friends and poked around the Internet looking for some of the worst gifts people have ever received. Candles from the Dollar Store, a $100 check that bounced, a gift card that had already expired. One person swears they had a beautifully wrapped box with a big bow that was full of air. Empty. I think my personal favorite was the couple that received a book on how to fix a broken relationship. Nice.
I?ve always thought money was the way to go. It?s always the right size and the happy couple can use it on the honeymoon or toward a down payment on a house. People vary on what?s the right amount, but I think you have to at least give enough to cover the meal you just ate. Plus, nothing looks nicer peeking out of a card than Benjamin Franklin.
Weddings cost lots of money, there?s no doubt. I?m just not sure currency and gifts have anything to do with longevity.
A friend of mine was married two times. The first was the big wedding that cost a fortune with a couple hundred people, and it didn?t last. The second go around, he and his bride met under a tree in the park with just four of their closest friends as witnesses and held a short ceremony. After, they all went to an Italian restaurant nearby and laughed until they cried. Last I heard, they are still together.
They may not be royalty, but don?t you dare let him hear you say his wife isn?t a queen.
John Gray is a news anchor on WXXA-Fox TV 23. His column is published Wednesdays in The Saratogian. Email JohnGray@|fox23news.com.
?
Source: http://saratogian.com/articles/2012/01/18/life/doc4f15e3e5a7078911126176.txt
dingo fidel castro gilbert arenas north korea dexter dexter facebook timeline
No comments:
Post a Comment